- Evaluate the division of labor in your household → use this as a conversation starter.
- Run Your Home Like a Business: Implement 1 SOP per month for 1 year and save 10 hours per week, guaranteed.
- Divide and Conquer: Split home responsibilities with your partner, family and outside help.
A few months ago, I was down in the dumps about my Dad. His recovery wasn’t happening as quickly as we had hoped after heart surgery, and I had just left the hospital and was heading home to my family, but had to stop at the bank on the way.
I had a few transactions to make, so waited for an account manager to help me. We sat down together at her desk in the corner of the bank, and as we were talking, I was doing my best to keep a smile on my face despite the way I was feeling. But in true KF fashion (TMI Queen), I ended up sharing with her my situation relating to my Dad and so she shared her situation with me in return, which was a pivotal point for me. Almost a sign that I needed to proceed with my mission of creating and championing a movement for equality at work and at home =@work&@home.
This bank manager had a football sized tumor in her abdomen that she was going to have surgically removed the following week. She explained to me that in preparation for the surgery, she had been having discussions with and trying to prepare her husband and 12 and 14 year old sons for not only taking care of her and nursing her back to health, but also taking care of themselves while she was recovering. She went on to tell me how they all went to Costco and as they walked in with the list in hand, she quizzed them on how many gallons of milk they thought the household needed for the week so not to run out, and they had no clue. She asked them what they planned to prepare for meals for the week following her surgery, and they struggled to come up with ideas. They didn’t know how to do the laundry, pack lunch for school, nothing, nada.
This story really saddened me. This issue is still so prevalent in 2019. Why are partners not divvying up household tasks and supporting each other @ home? It’s a systemic problem that needs to be recognized and addressed. It’s one of the reasons we started the getfoxxi community. It serves as a discussion tool that partners can use to start the conversation about who is doing what in the house and how that can shift to make everyone’ lives better. I pride myself in equality @ home. Women comment all the time on how amazed they are at how much my husband contributes to our household. I was chatting with a friend in my front room enjoying a glass of wine one day, and Eric was taking Mikey up to bed to give him a baba and proceed with the bedtime routine, and she asked me – “how did you get him to do that?” Get him to do what, I wondered? Love his son enough to want to cuddle with him and put him to sleep? And then I realized…we are in the year 2020 and this STILL isn’t the norm for most households. And that has to change.
Even before we had children, my husband and I split up household related responsibilities. I do the laundry, he does the dishes. We both do the shopping and the cooking. I do drop offs to pre-school and kindergarten each morning, and he picks up every afternoon. I make lunches for school, he stays on top of the school calendar and homework.
It’s a true team effort, because that’s the way a partnership should be.
When I think about our first 6 years as parents, I can safely say that Eric has either changed as many diapers as me, if not more. Waking up with the kids in the middle of the night (which only happens every night, at least 1 – 3xs) – he deserves a gold medal – because he knows I don’t sleep enough as it is, so he tends to be the one to lay with the babes, and I truly love him for it. Since moving out to California, I’m seeing so many encouraging signs that we are evolving in this area. Pictured here are some rock star dads from Katie’s school who I admire every day when dropping off. These guys are taking care of multiple children, including toddlers and infants, on their own while their partners are at work. How fricking awesome is that? Pretty fricking awesome.
But at the same time, we still have a ways to go. The way we can effect change is to 1) recognize if there is an imbalance in the house 2) have an open conversation on how you can shift responsibilities between your partner, other family members (i.e. children) and potentially outsource, and 3) divide and conquer as a team to alleviate stress
and increase overall well-being.
If you think that =@Home&@Work is a good idea, spread the love and support our cause as we set out to help you use time wisely for Passion | Movement | Connection.
#=@Home&@Work #Divide&Conquer #Teamwork #2020 #getfoxxi